Thursday, May 13, 2004

Coded

And a funny, if terribly silly, one from Yune:

"Whatever happens, the word 'penetrate' must be in there somewhere."

"That's the code word?" he asked in disbelief. "'Penetrate'?"

His superior did not deign to reply. Probably out of embarrassment.

Agent 314 acknowledged the orders and tucked his phone back into his pocket. As he made his way back from the men's room to the table, he tried to think of ways to slip the code word into casual conversation. Everyone was done with dinner, and now had turned to not-so-idle chatter.

"I try to read every article I can about the war," one man was saying.

"Yes," Agent 314 put in quickly, "but it's hard to penetrate all the misinformation we're fed by the media."

The man said, "That's why I read so many. Somewhere among them must be the truth."

"A lot of them use the same sources," a woman pointed out. "We're still left groping for the real facts."

Agent 314 studied her without being overt about it. "Grope" was his recognition code word. Was this his fellow-agent?

She was blushing faintly, as though the use of the word embarrassed her, but she had only used a form of the word. He dithered, uncertain.

Then a waiter leaned over him and said, "Are you done, sir?"

Agent 314 hadn't made a dent in his food at all. The lobster on his plate could have been a biological specimen for all that he had touched it. He'd been so busy trying to make contact with his superior that he'd spent most of the dinner in the men's room, where the reception had been abysmal.

Suddenly the lobster launched itself upward and Agent 314 realized that his enemy must have identified him somehow and planted it. What better secret weapon in a seafood restaurant? He sprang to his feet, knocking his chair over, and nimbly avoided the deadly crustacean.

He had no time to pull out a weapon. All his concentration was spent on evading it. Was the woman his comrade or his enemy? Would she help him or had she arranged this all in the first place?

He learned the answer--and successfully completed his mission--when she stood up, pointed her lipstick like a gun, and the lobster that was chasing him suddenly disappeared.